Shadow People

I bought a red wine called “Layer Cake.” In college I drank a lot of beer—now, more wine. What’s funny though is I don’t know a fucking thing about wine. So I pick out bottles based on 3 criteria:

1)   Price. Is it under $15? If yes, continue to criteria two. If no, pretend it does not exist[1].
2)   Label. Plain and simple: It’s gotta look cool. Now this goes against all conventional wine wisdom, as most of the “classic,” "vintage," "artisinaly (not a word) aged" wines seem to always have a very classic, romantic look to them—some long handed script dragged by fluid wrist in whispy (also not a word) motions across a parchment looking paper. For absolutely no reason that can be justified, I have no interest in these wines. in fact they turn me off completely. Instead, I look for a label that catches my eye: usually simple and contemporary, something with clean lines and maybe a minimalist design[2], preferably with a name that makes little to no sense whatsoever.
3)   Name. What’s it called? As alluded to above, this third criteria really goes hand in hand with the second one.  In fact, based on my fool proof accrediting system, it must relate directly to criteria point two.   A good label can carry a bad name, but a good name can’t overcome a bad label[3].  For example I’ve actually saved a couple wine bottles recently. Here’s what they’re called: “Reckless Love” and “Dearly Beloved.”  Both names sound like shitty soap operas, but when joined with their labels, they’re actually pretty neat. So as a general rule of thumb: the dumber the name, the better the wine[4].

So, back to Layer Cake—the wine I bought tonight. I stopped at the mini-mart on the way back from work. I perused the aisles, scrupulously running through my criteria, and ultimately it came down to two contenders: “Eruption” & “Layer Cake.” This brings up one more thing I forgot to mention about names; if the name sounds like a soap opera—good sign. If name sounds like cheap porno—bad sign. It’s a fine line but with time you learn to walk it. 

I bought the Layer Cake and I came home and I sat down to write. I liked the name so much I figured it could be a good place to start. However, as I wrote, I drank the bottle and consequently ended up on the absurd tangent about how I buy wine, when what I'd really intended to write about is this new video. It's called "Shadow People." It's about the beauty of tiny moments. I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere. But if not, it'd be a great name for a wine.



[1] Remember this wine for when I am wildly successful and can spend more money on wine.

[2] Please bare in mind I have no idea if these are even remotely valid ways of describing design, but they are of the utmost importance to me, in my head, when assessing wines…usually reds…under $15.

[3] This is true in 9/10 cases (no pun intended)

[4] Based on taste preferences of someone with no idea what they are talking about.